So Stupid....

It was SO unnecessary and stupid tonight... I really hope this bad habit of mine can be rid soon, please let it be the last time...

I really had the desire to just dig a hole and hide in it, and not admit to anybody, particularly to people whom I care, because I just couldn't stand my incompetency, and insecurity crept in again... I was just too afraid that you would find me incompetent too.

But once again I thought about the One who really cares no matter what you've done and no matter what a wretch you are, and in the end, the Only One whose opinion really matters... And if He says to me that He cares for the birds in the sky and the flowers and the trees, and how much more He cares about me, who am I to enslave myself in self-blaming, when He accepted me just as I am and gave me freedom? And how dare I delve into self-image preservation again?

So NO... I am embracing my own weaknesses, I am accepting my own faults, but I am not going to blame myself nor hide from them, because God gave me grace to live just as I am... I am moving on.

Grace... is the most wonderful gift... Who can stand without you?